King of Hearts
by Undoing
Summary: All your favorite  and non-favorite  characters of Kingdom Hearts living under one roof, doing crazy things! From Mickey and OXIII playing poker, to Kairi becoming a hardcore nature activist and Aerith and Tifa hosting a "cooking show", craziness is here!
1. It Started With A Poker Game

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or Publix, or Pop-Tarts, or Bruce Wayne, or the Batcave, or anything else that's copyrighted by someone else other than me. And this is my first story, so please don't be too mean.**

* * *

It Started With A Poker Game

Deep in the darkness, in the World That Never Was, King Mickey was waiting in a special room only three people knew of: The Poker Room. Finally, his waiting ended, for his poker buddies entered the room: Ansem the Wise and Xehenort. Sure, Ansem and Mickey hate Xehenort's guts, but that's exactly why they all play poker together.

"Shall we start?"asked Ansem. "Mickey, you deal today."

Fifteen minutes into the game, Xehenort finally spoke. "Men, I have a major bet to make."

"If it has anything to do with Pop-Tarts, I swear I will-"Ansem started, but was cut off by the Nobody.

"It has _ nothing _ to do with Pop-Tarts!...Okay, maybe they`re mentioned, but only as a side note! Can you hear me out?"

"This better be good..."Mickey muttered, as he put his cards down and started to listen.

"Okay,"Xehenort started, "So, last week, I was at Earth, right-"

"Wrong,"Mickey chucked, along with Ansem.

"Guys, please! This is a neutral zone! Anyway, so I was on Earth, and I was at Publix, shopping for Pop-Tarts-"

"AHA!"Mickey again interrupted. "I _knew _this had something to do with Pop-Tarts!"

"I wonder why he has a giant obsession with them,"Ansem wondered out loud. "I mean, though they _ are _ indeend delicious, it's no need for him to be crazy."

"But they sure are delicious! Have you tried the "S'mores" flavored one?"responded the King.

"Indeed I have. And if I might say, they are delicious when they're heated...Unless they're frozen. Have you tried them?"

The two friends started a long-winded discussion about Pop-Tarts, until Xehenort yelled, "Guys, please: SHUT UP! Seriously, it looks like I'm the only person not obsessed with them today! _Anyway_, while I was there, I met this one person, and they told me that they knew I was from another world. You know when you go to Earth, and they think you're cospl-"

"Xehenort, get to the point!"Mickey demanded.

"Right, sorry. Anyway, she told me that I should buy a house on Earth."

"Well, he's right. I have one. So does Mickey! Heck, last week, Sora, Roxas, and Ven purchased a nice house, pricing at 20,000 munny, or $180,000,"said Ansem.

"Yeah, and I heard Voldemort got a nice beach house in Hawaii, and Darth Vader got a nice replica of the Bruce Wayne mansion, complete with secret passage way to the Batcave, and a virtual Alfred,"commented Mickey.

"_Anyway,_" started Xehenort, for the 3rd time, "she also said that there's a great deal on a mansion down near South Beach, Miami. And then, she said that, and I quote, 'How about you invite everyone? But I bet the Organization members and the good guys couldn't stay with each other for 2 months! Maybe less!' Can you believe it! She thinks we aren't strong enough!"

"I believe it,"chuckled Mickey.

"It was a rhetorical question! And because of that incident, I have decided to challenge you, gentleman and mouse-" "Hey!" "-that you and your '_colleagues_' stay with me and my members in the mansion! I bet 1 million munny that you guys will be the first to leave!"he challanged.

"You're on!"Mickey yelled, getting up from his chair. Ansem just nodded.

"Good. Now all we need to do is just buy the mansion! Come on!"the Nobody exclaimed, getting up, along with Ansem.

"Aren't you coming?"he asked Mickey.

"Nah," he replied. "I have to write a letter."

* * *

**Did you like it? I will post the next chapter hopefully soon!**


	2. Meet the Owner

**Hello all you lovely people of FanFiction! Anyway, here's the disclaimer:**

**Disclaimer: Undoing does not own Square Enix, Mario Kart, YouTube, An unknown resort, Linkin' Park, Apple, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Keyboard Cat, World of Warcraft, Charlie the Unicorn, "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isenguard!", Disney, lightsabers, and (luckily) rebid fangirls.**

* * *

Meet the Owner

"Sephiroth...he's all, like, mommy this, 'n mommy that! I'm glad Cloud's not him anymore, or there'd be one less cloud in this world. Geddit? Cloud! LOL!"slurred Zack.

It had been two weeks since Zack had found Cloud and the others at Radiant Garden, and he had gotten everyone high off of...soda. The days have always started out with everyone hyperactive, killing Heartless and Nobodies left and right. But by the afternoon, the crash kicks in, and everyone (excluding Cloud, who knew the consequences of doing something Zack had suggested) entered a state quite similar to a young teenager getting extremely drunk.

"Yeah, man...and Rinoa, man, she's all like, alive one sec...and dead the next. I mean, wtf is up with that, man? Man...Girls make no sense, man...,"Leon said sleepily.

"I know, right?"replied Zack, and the two shared a messy man-hug.

Clod sighed. Since everyone else who had not followed Zack with his crazy, stupid plan (which was only Cid, who was on a vacation at an unknown resort, along with Merlin) had left, he was all alone, unable to do anything except keep watch.

The girls were sitting at the other end of the room, whispering to each other, and giving giggles so high pitched, it'd give a valley girl a run for her money.

_Give me something to get away from this nightmare... Anything!_, Cloud thought.

At that exact moment, a light flashed, and a letter appeared in front of him. It read:

_Dear friends at Radiant Garden,_

_ I have been challenged to a bet by Xemnas to have all the people of light stay with OXIII for two months. I requested your presence at Earth at the address enclosed within this letter._

_ Thank you,_

_ The King_

_ P.S. I have also been informed that Zack is staying with you, Cloud. For this reason, I have inclosed a spell to undo whatever craziness he bestows upon you._

Upon reading it, Cloud gave a slightly evil smile, and folded up the letter.

* * *

"They've accepted~!"yelled Xemnas to his fellow Nobodies, who were doing various things accross the White Room, including ignoring their leader.

"Whoop-de-do,"said Larxene, unenthusiastically, and continued playing _Mario Kart_ against Demnyx, who just put his thumb-up, before resuming the game.

Lexaeus and Xalidin were sitting at opposite ends of a sofa, reading books, as Xexion sat between them, listening to _Linkin' Park_ on his i-Pod, which he stole from a little angsty girl, promptly before turning her into Nobody. She had now become his personal maid, and was currently massaging his back.

Marluxia stood at one end of the room, watering his plant, and singing, where it was mysteriously bright and sunny and in complete contrast of Vexen, who stood at a darker part of the room, where lightning cracked ominously and he worked on strange experiments.

Xigbar, Saïx , and Luxord were sitting at a table, watching _YouTube_ videos, and laughing out loud.

"Holy ****! How is he doing that! HAHAHAHA!"

"Oh, my god! Listen, that cat is actually playing the piano!"

"That weird anchorman laughs strangely."

Axel and Roxas sat together, playing _World of Warcraft_ on the other computer.

"Kill the dragon, KILL THE DRAGON!"

"I know what to do, Axel!"

Xemnas stood there, taking in the scenery, before saying, "You all do realize that we have to pack, right?"

The only response was: "OMFG! THEY TOOK HIS KIDNEY!"

"...This is going to be a looooong day,"the leader of OXIII sighed.

"_They're taking the Hobbits to Isenguard! Guard-g-g-g-guard-guard!"_

* * *

"_My Little Pony, My Little Pony, Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah..._"

"Man, this is my favorite show!"

"Kairi, how will you be able to train if you keep on watching _My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic_?"Sora complained.

"Sora's right, Kairi. Come on, we gotta go,"said Aqua.

Aqua, Ven, and Terra were taking a break from battling Heartless, and came to Destiny Islands, to help Sora and Riku for their Mark Of Mastery exam, whilst helping Kairi with her Keyblade. If she only would turn off the TV.

"We don't get breaks like these everyday, so-"

But before Sora could finish his sentence, Ventus returned from his walk out on the beach. "Hey, guys! I found a letter, out on the shore!" Sora grabbed the bottle and pulled out the letter. He quickly skimmed it, and was left with a befuddled look.

"What the-"

* * *

"-heck were you thinking, King Mickey! Inviting everyone here! Getting them to stay with the enemy for _two months_! Oh, god, I can't even stay with them for two minutes, and you expect-"

"SORA! _Calm down__!_ I expect the King didn't invite _everyone _here,"Riku said, grabbing Sora by the shoulders. "...You didn't, right?"he asked nervously.

"No, Riku. I didn't invite any Disney characters," the King happily responded.

"Disney?"

"... Never mind."

Everyone who had been invited had showed up: The Keybladers, The Radiant Gardeners (sounds like a gardening club), and Organization XIII. They were all standing in front of an abandoned lot, for no apparent reason.

"Who are we waiting for?" Aqua inquired. "I think everyone is here."

Mickey ignored her question, and stared across the street, until Mickey finally shouted, "She's here!" and pointed at a small figure in the distance. Upon closer examination, the gang noticed a young girl was biking up towards the lot. She had wavy, brown hair; a black sweater; ripped jeans; everything an average teenager would have. Except for a bright smile on her face. And the lack of 1001 pimples (there were only one or two small bumps).

Her bike skidded up towards Cloud, who happened to be conveniently standing the farthest away from the group due to the fact that Zack had a hangover that was basically a second wave of madness.

The girl got off, and happily greeted the group with a friendly wave, and a "Hello, aliens!"

When the crowd just stared at her, she frowned, and asked, "Are you guys really _that _uncultured?"

Mickey nodded, saying, "I was thinking the same thing when Riku didn't know what 'Disney' was."

The girl gave a fake gasp, and magically pulled out a red backpack, and began digging into it, when she pulled out a huge stack of papers. "Okay,"she sighed. "Sign here, here, here, here, initials there, sign here, here, print your name, sign here... Aha! The payment method! Now, cash, credit, check, or trade?"

Mickey, Ansem, and Xemnas stared at each other. "Hey, _Xemnas_, since _you _offered this bet, why don't _you _pay?"offered Ansem.

"Nonono! _You _are the mad scientist, _Ansem_. _And _you're the _King _of _Radiant freakin' Garden. _You're _bound _to be rich! Why don't _you _pay?"the Nobody retorted.

This went on for several minutes, until Mickey finally said, "Why not a trade?" Luckily he said this, for Ansem had pulled out his Heart-releasing-thing-er-magiger and Xemnas had pulled out his Energy Katanas *cough* _lightsabers *_cough* and things were about to get ugly. There was already one fatality: an tiny ant stepped on by Xemnas. Oh the horror.

"A wise choice,"the teenager agreed. "Here are my conditions: I have to come to the mansion at least once every day, and once a day, either Cloud or Riku must accompany me to the movies, or have coffee with me... or do pretty much anything. Like read a bedtime story to me, while I videotape it and post it on _YouTube_. Yes, these are my conditions."

Somewhere in the crowd of video game characters, Zack fell down laughing, alongside Sora. But before Riku and Cloud could either protest or choke Zack and/or Sora to death, the Poker Trio (i.e. Ansem, Mickey, and Xemnas) nodded, and Mickey signed his name. "Done deal,"he sighed in the direction of the two emo-depicted-by-the-mad-horde-of-crazy-fangirls-that-aren't-me.

_This is officially the worse day of my life; even worse than the time Zack kept on playing "_One-Winged Angel_" whenever I entered the room. I had nightmares for a month. This will probably land me in extensive therapy, _thought Cloud, as he slapped his forehead.

While he and Riku plotted their double-suicide, the girl grabbed Zack, and said, "Since loud's too emo right now, I'm gonna show _you _off to the mass of rabid fangirls conveniently located just around the corner!" Zack, who was just as crazy as her (or was depicted so) just manically laughed.

"Those two are perfect for each other,"commented Kairi, and she suddenly received a slap and a large poke on the back of her head. Turning around, she saw Aeris and Aqua ominously whistling a strangely happy tune.

Aeris cleared her throat, and asked, "Who was that girl, anyway?"

"That girl," spoke up Xemnas, "is known as Pamela Hart. She is the one who's family owned this mansion, which is right around the corner."

"You mean the corner with the rabid fangirls?"questioned Ven.

"No, the _other _corner."

"Good,"spoke up Axel. "the last time I came to Earth, I met a bunch of those girls. My hearing's never been the same since, not to mention my-"

"Okaaay," interrupted the only female Nobody (not counting Xion, since nobody counts Xion... literally). "Axel, I think we've heard quite enough. Now, how do we get to the mansion?"

Coincidently, Pamela and Zack reappeared, and were able to hear Larxene's question. "Just follow the yellow-brick-road-that's-not-really-yellow-and-that's-not-made-out-of-bricks!"Zack cracked.

After a small moment of silence, Pamela clarified the statement. "What he means is 'Follow us!'"

The group, not having much else to do, followed them around the corner, until...

"Crap, wrong corner!"

"(Fangirl shriek too loud to describe)!"

* * *

**So, did you enjoy this chapter? Cause I hope you did! And review! Cause if you don't, I might not update! Mwhahahahahaha!**

**P.S. The flames will burn Xemnas for his genocide of ants everywhere.**

**Now, click on the button below this sentence... Why aren't you clicking on it?**


End file.
